butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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