Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
