Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
