apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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