You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
