dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
