Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
