**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
