i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my sisters under your porch take her home
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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