I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
