Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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