marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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