just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
