are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize