But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
