it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
