oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Found the puke drawer
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
