I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
