Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
and she was petting her beer can
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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