You're completely useless in the revolution.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
