I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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