dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize