So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
