please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
