it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
