she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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