HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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