The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
smell my finger.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
