well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
