i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
