she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
