I must be too annoying 4 u.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
