Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
