whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize