We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Rumble strips road head = magical
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
