But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just invented taco cereal.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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