I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
