you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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