Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dick very happy bro
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize