Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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