I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize