i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
