Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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