Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
