She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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