Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Randomize
