I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
