just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
