Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
