You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
