Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
