I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
