Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
