This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
