i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
