Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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