Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
