well you can't waste a boner
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
