white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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