We're like a lot better than the average bears
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
