Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
